Salsa Therapy (3x Salsa Recipes)

When you're having a semi-bad day and your wife comes come with 6 habaneros, 8 jalapenos and close to 30 vine tomatoes there's only one thing to do. Make salsa! For some reason, salsa is my happy food. There are just so many possibilities and unpredictable elements.  You can make the same recipe of salsa 100 times and get a different salsa each time.  Maybe I get a little too excited about food, but that roulette wheel spins every time you cook--sometimes it's red, sometimes it's black. You just never know!

Today, I was feeling a little fiery, so I chose to make some fiery salsas. Two out of the three I made were spicy--one being rocket hot. The third salsa was for the kids, but was really good and refreshing for anyone! We'll start with the basic salsa and go up the Scoville heat scale.

*NOTE* In all of these recipes, it is assumed that you have a food processor. If you don't, it's fine, but chop things finely and take your time. Definitely allow more time to sit so flavors come together.

Salsa for Everyone

This is the salsa for those who don't like it hot. This salsa goes great on eggs and is great for kids. It's also good for thoughtless snacking. And aside from salt, it's fairly good for you! I use this recipe as a base for experimenting too. Make this salsa and add whatever you want!

Ingredients:

• 6 Vine Tomatoes, topped and quartered
• 3/4 Cup (1 fistfull) of Cilantro, finely chopped
• 1/2 Cup Onion, coarsely chopped
• Juice from 1/2 a Lime
• 2T (big pinch x2) Kosher Salt
• 2t (little pinch x2)Fresh Ground Pepper
• 2t (little pinch x2) Granulated Garlic (Fresh garlic is okay too, but will get stronger with time. Granulated seems to stay way more consistent with time which is good with salsa)

Method:

1. Place tomatoes in food processor and spin 'em until they are the consistencey of restaurant salsa--slightly over-blended but not pureed. Place in a bowl larger than what you think you'll need.
2. Place cilantro, onion and lime juice in food processor at the same time. Pulse until onions are coarsely minced. Place in bowl with tomatoes.
3. Add salt, pepper and garlic. Stir and enjoy with your favorite chips.

As always, you can enjoy your salsa right away but waiting at least a few hours will greatly benefit the flavors. I usually stick it in the fridge overnight and eat it on some eggs in the morning to see how it turned out.

Smokey Double Jalapeno Salsa

Ingredients:

• 8 Vine Tomatoes, topped and quartered
• 1 Cup (big fistfull) of Cilantro, finely chopped
• 1/2 Cup Onion, coarsely chopped
• 2 Large Jalapenos (3 if you like it extra hot)
• Juice from 1/2 a Lime
• 2T White Vinegar
• 2T (big pinch x2) Kosher Salt or Smoked Salt (available online or at many markets)
• 2t (little pinch x2)Fresh Ground Pepper
• 2t (little pinch x2) Granulated Garlic (Fresh garlic is okay too, but will get stronger with time. Granulated seems to stay way more consistent with time which is good with salsa)
• 1.5t of McCormick Chipotle Chile Pepper

Method:

1. Place tomatoes in food processor and spin 'em until they are the consistencey of restaurant salsa--slightly over-blended but not pureed. Place in a bowl larger than what you think you'll need.
2. Place cilantro, onion and lime juice in food processor at the same time. Pulse until onions are coarsely minced. Place in bowl with tomatoes.
3. Place jalapenos and vinegar in processor and spin until coarsely minced. Add to bowl.
4. Add salt, pepper, garlic and chipotle chile powder. Stir and enjoy with your favorite chips.

As always, you can enjoy your salsa right away but waiting at least a few hours will greatly benefit the flavors. Overnight is better.

Drunken Habanero-Kiwi Salsa

I wanted a salsa that would knock me on my butt but still be good enough to eat an entire bowl. I used my limited knowledge of chemistry and applied it as much as I could. The goal is spicy on many levels. First there is the flavor of the habanero, then the heat of the habanero. But there is a lot of scorching heat that can still be drawn from the habanero when mixed with alcohol. Thus the tequila. There is also a nice flavor that is brought out with raw sugar. Thus the raw sugar. Then there are the ultra fruity notes of the habanero that are brought out with tropical fruits like mango and kiwi. Thus the kiwi. I like to use ultra-ripe kiwis (almost to a fault). They are fragrant and musty. The tequila helps insure that they won't go bad within a day of storage. If for any reason the salsa feels tingly (like carbonation on your tongue, discard it--or just use less-ripe kiwis. I like heat but only when flavor comes along for the ride.

Ingredients:

• 8 Vine Tomatoes, topped and quartered
• 1 Cup (big fistfull) of Cilantro, finely chopped
• 2 Habaneros (red, orange or yellow. doesn't matter)
• 2-3 Kiwi Fruits
• Juice from 1/2 a Lime
• 1.5 Shots of Tequila (any kind will do but Patron would be a waste of tequila and Jose Cuervo would be a waste of salsa, so shoot in between).
• 1 Shots of Triple Sec
• 1/8 Cup of Sugar in the Raw (regular sugar works too, but lacks a deep, rounded flavor)
• 2T White Vinegar
• 2T (big pinch x2) Kosher Salt

Method:

1. Place tomatoes in food processor and spin 'em until they are the consistencey of restaurant salsa--slightly over-blended but not pureed. Place in a bowl larger than what you think you'll need.
2. Place cilantro, kiwis, lime juice in food processor at the same time. Pulse until onions are coarsely minced. Place in bowl with tomatoes.
3. Place habaneros, tequila, triple sec and vinegar in processor and spin until coarsely minced. Add to bowl.
4. Add salt and sugar. Stir and enjoy with your favorite chips.

As always, you can enjoy your salsa right away but waiting at least a few hours will greatly benefit the flavors. Overnight is better. Sweet salsas never present themselves well immediately. An overnight sit will bring the flavors together and allow the flavors to progress on your palate. From a flavorful start to a spicy roller coaster then finish with a sweet spice.

Mango Habanero Salsa

So maybe I'm a little late getting into the mango-habanero game, but this salsa turned out great and even won a small competition in the Best Overall and Best Spicy categories. This stuff has some serious bite to it, but the mango makes it very forgiving. It gets in your mouth, starts off with a strong sweetness and then the burn creeps in, then up your nose, and then it goes into your eyes (then at some point little habanero pepper demons creep into your brain and kick it around for a while) then the sweetness takes back over and your reach for another chip. It sounds like a horrific experience, but I assure you, it is worth it. It's packed with flavor and will be a contender no matter what you serve it with. It's nice on a chip, chicken or fish. I've even eaten it on a burrito and it was awesome!

Finished product

Mango Habanero Salsa

Ingredients

-4 Ripe Tomatoes, quartered (Large plums. Not beefsteaks unless you pulled them off the vine yourself)

-3 Ripe Mangos, peeled, pitted and cut into hearty chunks

-1 Small Red (purple) Onion, quartered (they are sweeter and you'll thank me for it later when the Habanero demons are kicking your brain)

-1 Habanero Pepper (or two in the winter months when the peppers aren't so potent) or 2 Dried Habanero Peppers (don't discount the dried, they'll burn just as hot, they're just not as fruity as the fresh. If you do use the dried, add 1/2 a yellow pepper to the mix to make up for lack of fruitiness of the dried habanero).

-1/2 of a Lime's worth of lime juice

-1 Bunch of fresh Cilantro, finely chopped

-2 Tbsp (or to taste) of Sugar in the Raw (regular sugar will work but it just doesn't have that earthy flavor that helps blend flavors so well). This will also help add a ripe mango flavor to the salsa if your mangos aren't so ripe.

 -1Tbsp of kosher salt (or to taste) (if you are going to consume the salsa immediately, I would use a finer salt that will dissolve more quickly)

Method

-Place quartered tomatoes in a food processor and chop until you have the desired consistency. Don't make it paste, but don't leave them chunky either. Think Mexican restaurant, not pico de gallo. Empty processed tomatoes into a large mixing bowl.

-If using dried habaneros, scoop up about 1 cup of tomatoes and let your dried peppers soak in it while you prep the rest of your recipe. There is enough water in the tomatoes to rehydrate your peppers and wake them up a bit.

Place pieces of mango into the food processor and chop to same consistency as the tomatoes. Add to mixing bowl.

-Chop the onion in the food processor to a slightly chunkier consistency than the tomatoes and add to mixing bowl

Red and orange habanero varieties

-Place the habanero pepper in the food processor and pulverize it. You want that thing as destroyed as possible. It will prevent you from getting a big ol' chunk of hellfire on your tongue while other bites taste like a dessert topping. It will help the salsa blend better. ***I highly recommend using a pair of latex gloves when handling high-powered peppers or else you next trip to the bathroom could result in a very painful situation***

-If you're using the dried habaneros, place the tomato soak, the dried peppers and the recommended yellow bell pepper in the processor and destroy.

-Use a chefs knife to finely chop your cilantro and toss it on top of the pile. I like a lot of cilantro. It seems to cool things off in the same way that sour cream might in a taco. I like a lot, but you can adjust to your liking.

-Add the lime juice, Sugar in the Raw and salt to the bowl. Fold it all together with a rubber spatula.

You can eat it right away, but I HIGHLY recommend saving it in the fridge for the next day. When you let something this volatile sit overnight, it will come together very nicely and the stages that I talked about in the introduction will blend and meld into each other--each providing an introduction for the next stage. If you don't let it sit overnight, it will, instead, hit you like the cars in the opening scene of Meet Joe Black.

Enjoy and let me know how your salsa turns out.

Also, to celebrate the first official NEW recipe of this blog, here is a video of me eating a raw habanero pepper.