Haole Style Kalua Pork

***Disclaimer--This is not an authentic Kalua Pork recipe. This is a badly misinterpreted version of the recipe that I came up with. I appreciate the Hawaiian culture very much which is why I simply cannot try and pass this off as one of their recipes. I can say with 100% certainty that this is good food--out of a crock pot no less! I call it Haole-Style because "haole" is the slang term used for Caucasians on the Hawaiian Islands (it's not really a term of endearment, but it works, I guess). This is just a backwoods way to make something similar (and it is eerily similar in flavor).***
The Hawaiian dish really isn't difficult to make, but requires time and a lot of things that most of us don't have access to. Such as a fire pit, banana leaves, a whole pig, Hawaiian wood, lava stones, etc. But the pig really is just smoked pig, seasoned and wrapped in banana leaves and shredded. So what I've done is horribly misinterpreted the whole recipe for kicks. I've substituted things that are related, but are a far cry from the original ingredients, but they all serve a purpose to contribute to the mimicking of real Kalua Pork.

• Whole Pig is now a Pork Roast
• Apple in the pig's mouth is now cider vinegar and apple chunks
• Kalua is now Kahlua (or go cheap and get spiced rum and instant coffee)
• Smoke from the banana leaves is now banana slices and roasted flavor of the coffee
• Natural saltiness from island-grown pig is now sea salt
• Hawaiian Fire Pit is now a Crock Pot

Ingredients:

• 2.5lb Pork Roast
• 1c Apple Cider Vinegar
• 1.5c Spiced Rum (Capt. Morgan is fine, Black Heart or Sailor Jerry's is a bit more 'edgy' tasting)
• 2T Instant Coffee
• 1t Crushed Red Pepper Flakes
• 1T Sea Salt
• 1T Granulated Garlic
• 1T Fresh Ground Black Pepper
• 1 Granny Smith or Fuji Apple, cubed
• 2 Ripe Bananas, sliced 1.5" thick
• 1lb Dark Brown Sugar
• Unfiltered Apple Juice (amount needed depends on size of crock pot)

Method:

1. Place roast on cutting board and cut many 1/2'' slices diagonally across the top of the meat (scoring). Cut them the other way as well so it appears you have many diamonds across your roast. Flip the roast and repeat to the bottom. Set aside.
2. Place all prepared ingredients into crock pot and stir. Make sure all instant coffee grounds are dissolved. Place roast into mixture and use Unfiltered Apple Juice to bring liquid to the top of the roast.
3. Set Crock Pot on medium and let cook for 5 hours (this may vary depending on crock pot and size and weight of your roast). Low and slow is what we're going for here.
4. Check your roast by securing it with a carving fork then firmly dragging a dinner fork over the top of it. If the meat pulls away with little effort, you are done. Remove roast from crock pot and place in a large mixing bowl.
5. Either pull it apart with two forks, your hands or, as I do, with a hand mixer. All the chunks of banana and apple will be soft enough to simply mix in with the meat. if it seems a little dry to you, mix in some of the juices from the crock pot until it's the consistency you like.
6. Either serve by itself or on a kaiser roll. Top with pickled jalapenos or banana peppers for a tasty kick!

Enjoy! Let me know how it all turns out! Don't forget to 'Like' me on Facebook and 'Follow' me on Twitter and Pinterest!

Lemons to Lemonade/Stuffed Pork Chop

In the past, I have voiced my opinions concerning the Air Force Recipe system and it's shortfalls and frustrations. Recently in the Dining Facility that I manage we have been playing with the recipes a bit. The recipe is the same but the method gets twisted a little...okay, a lot. We tossed the method out the window and made our own! We took the lemon methods and made lemonade by substituting our own. We hold true to the ingredients, but make it in a way that people like--not scoff at.
The whole idea is that we take a recipe that doesn't sell and find a way to make it sell. Normally, our stuffed pork chop just doesn't sell. The AF method wants us to take a colorless, flavorless baked pork chop and place an ice cream scoop worth of stove top stuffing on top of it. The customers usually look at it then order a cheeseburger from the grill. But not today, my friends!  Keep in mind that this recipe is for what we have in an AF kitchen. I do recommend making your own dressing/stuffing. And I do recommend straying from the methods of the AF Recipe system, but even though I like to make a mockery of the AF method, we still try to stay close. So please play with this recipe. It's YOUR food, play with it!

Stuffed Pork Chop

Ingredients

• 4 Thick Cut (1"-1.5" cut) BONELESS Pork Chops
• Salt, Pepper, Garlic Powder--Seasoned to taste on pork chops
• 2 Cups Balsamic Vinegar
• Box of Stovetop Stuffing (Chicken or Pork Flavor, if you can find it)
• 2/3 Cup Sugar
• 1/4 Small Yellow Onion, minced
• 1 Green Apple, julienned
• 1 Red Apple, julienned
• Juice from 1 Lemon (mix with water to cover julienned apples in a bowl to prevent browning)

Method

1.  Make Stovetop Stuffing by using directions on the box.
2. Season Pork Chops with salt, pepper and garlic powder. Rub seasonings into meat. Toss into a medium heat frying pan. Cook chops to medium well.
3. Pour Balsamic Vinegar into a sauce pan and bring to an almost boil. Add diced onions. Add sugar as you stir. Keep the sauce moving as it starts to simmer. It will begin to thicken.
4. After chops rest for about 3-5 minutes, fillet chops down the middle, 3/4 of the way through long ways (it should look like an alligator mouth, not a clam)
5. Grab a small palm full of stuffing and roll loosely into a ball. Flap open pork chop and place the ball into the mouth of the gator. Place chops on a baking pan and into the a 350 degree oven for 5 minutes. This will give the ball of stuffing a crisp element as well as curl the top of the chop just a little for visual pleasure.
6.  By now, the sauce should be thickening nicely. Be careful to not let it burn or you will have to start all over with the sauce. Take it off the stove and let it air cool on the counter top or an empty burner. 
7. Julienne your apples. A julienne is a complicated way of saying that you cut it to look like baby french fries. If you are still confused, check out this link (Julienning). This is best done with a slicer with a julienne attachment, but most people don't have one just sitting around so another option is to use a cheese grater. Use the big holes, not the small ones. As you julienne them, place them in your lemon/water mixture. The acid in the lemon juice will prevent the apples from browning plus it will add another element of tartness. Make sure you use a tart green apple and a sweet red apple. This will create a nice mixture of flavors that will enhance your chops!
8. Place your sauce in a squirt bottle (ketchup style if you have it). If you don't have one, a spoon will do nicely. Get a small plate, drizzle the sauce on the plate in any design you'd like. Swirls, zig-zag, Jackson Pollock, etc.
9. Pull Pork chops from the oven and place in the center of the plate.
10. Garnish with a large pinch of julienned apples.
11. Enjoy!

Please excuse the sloppy saucing.  A warped tray and  time constraints are to blame ;)

Usually we produce about 16 pork chops for our small facility and maybe 3 of them sell based on looks alone. But this day, we produced 16 and sold 14 of them. It just goes to show that people eat with their eyes way before they eat with their mouths.